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Mary Ann! Drop Those Coconu… Stash!
By PopSavant | March 12, 2008 | 
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Dawn Wells, as in, the Mary Ann half of the eternal Ginger-or-Mary-Ann debate, is going to spend five days in jail for reckless driving; not very interesting, until you learn that the reckless driving charge is a plea deal Wells cut to avoid the more serious charges of DUI, possession of drug paraphernalia, and driving under the influence stemming from a traffic stop last year in which a police officer found four joints in Wells’ car.
You remember Mary Ann; she’s the one that always had the munchies and hung out with that stoner-slacker Gilligan and a banana cream pie. No worries there; what else was there to do on the island? But drug use could explain a number of Gilligan’s plot lines: constant paranoia about voodoo and Gilligan believing his teeth are talking to him to take two examples, not to mention an entire episode revolving around Mary Ann eating some bad mushrooms. However, not to be outdone by her scriptwriters, Dawn Wells offered up a story to explain the presence of the marijuana in her vehicle: she had just picked up three hitchhikers who, without warning, sparked up in her car. No word on the owner of the fourth joint.
Now, Mary Ann is inarguably too wholesome to lie to the authorities, so we’ll take her at her word. Imagine the hitchhikers, though. You’re a half-baked pothead thumbing your way through the red states with a couple of compadres. You get a ride from a nice lady, light one up – generously offering your hostess a toke – and get kicked out of the ride for your troubles. You’re standing there listening to the tires screech away when all of a sudden your bud says: “Dude! I think that was Mary Ann!” They’re probably still out there today, giggling uncontrollably by the roadside.
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