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American Idol January 27, 2009 – Season 8 Auditions, Jacksonville
By PopSavant | January 27, 2009 | 
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Hi all… join me tonight at 8pm Eastern for a live blog of the American Idol Season 8 audition show from January 27, Jacksonville, Florida.
If you know anything at all about J-ville as a town , then you know it’s got the kind of talent to go down in Idol infamy. So take off your shirt, grab a watery American beer, put on some Skynard, and let’s see who shows up tonight. Lex and Terry don’t call it Freakville for nothing!
See you in a few hours.
All right, away we go. The show starts with Ryan and Simon in a limo, cruising through Amelia Island. The shots of the Idol cattle call are from the Jacksonville arena, which is pretty damn far from Amelia Island, so I assume the judges didn’t go slumming with the commoners and had the interesting contestants bussed to a posh hotel. Figures.
There was a cute bit about JACKSON-ville, as in Randy Jackson-ville. It was all right, but obvious, but the real fun part here were the shots of Randy from his old days with a hi-top fade, playing bass for Journey before Steve Perry wigged out on the band. I know he had a health thing, but they really should have followed up Raised on Radio with another real album. Hall of Fame rock it wasn’t, but it was pleasant enough AOR fodder.
First up is Joshua Ulloa, who isn’t unhappy about being mistaken for Justin Guarini because “it helps people remember you.” Interesting theory… it didn’t work for Justin, but don’t let that stop you Joshua. He sings Marvin Gaye’s Let’s Get It On in some crazy, affected, nervous-tic-ridden way. Simon calls it good, but gimmicky in parts, while Randy “liked the crazy and wild, because it was at least entertaining,” which tells us that Randy is starved for entertainment. Regardless, Joshua gets four yes votes and he’s on to Hollywood, though he didn’t deserve it.
Sharon Wilbur comes in next, accompanied by her dog Sasha, who she hands to Simon. Sharon is “not doing this for Sasha” because “I guess I’m doing it for myself”… which is good because the last person who did things based on instructions from his dog ended up killing a bunch of people in New York. She sings Karen Carpenter’s Superstar in a frog-in-her-throat, Jessica-Simpson-nasal-snarl kind of way. Simon mysteriously says “I think you have a nice voice.” Keeping with the Freakville theme, Paula and Kara do a fake hand-over-mouth kiss thing which will be making the Photoshop rounds at a web site near you. Despite sucking, Sharon gets through to Hollywood.
Kara tells the audience “my job isn’t done here until Simon tries something on me” … And now, an open letter to Simon: Simon, the next move is up to you. Could it be that easy to get rid of her? One way to find out.
Dana Moreno gives us a ridiculously squawky bit of Chaka Kahn, and she’s out.
Kanrsea Some-Name-I-Didn’t-Catch – probably got the spelling of the first name wrong, too, but its not worth fixing – starts her audition with scat singing and elementary-school-acting-class emoting to Antia Baker’s Caught Up In The Rapture Of Love. “It actually got progressively worse,” says Simon, which is a nicer way of telling us the truth, which is that the performance was utter crap. They bring her mom into the audition room to make Kanrsea’s humiliation complete. “She sings all around Jacksonville!” her mom tells us, so if you’re out for a night on the town, be warned.
Miss Florida Latina USA Julissa Veloz is next, and the appearance ought to send Latinas all over the state looking for the entry form for next year’s contest, lest the rest of the country think this is the best they’ve got. Julissa offers to “do a little Whitney,” and she goes for I Have Nothing. Simon says “it was actually better than I expected” which tells us that he was expecting pretty bleak things indeed. Apparently there’s a gas leak in the room, because Julissa gets four yes votes.
Darin Darnell, who gives off a Carlton-from-Fresh-Prince vibe, “loves to mesh… I love to be comfortable around everybody” and he auditions next. His transcendent comfort in all situations unfortunately doesn’t last when his new-made friend gets cut, sending Darin to the verge of tears. He tries to sing Boyz II Men’s It’s So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday, but it’s flat and absolutely awful. He’s gone.
Naomi Sykes enters the room with a weird skip-trot, leading Kara to ask Naomi if she’s got ants in her pants. Naomi tells us she hits high notes like Mariah Carey, giving us the hope, at least, that somebody might hit something tonight. Naomi also brings her Samantha friend in, who’s a huge Randy Jackson fan, and Sam gets to sit on Randy’s lap for the audition. Ryan comes over and sits on Kara’s lap and makes riding gestures… insert your own joke here. Naomi’s voice is crap, sounding more like Phoebe from Friends than Mariah. Naomi actually seems to think she had a chance, and the audition ends up with tears and a group hug. Get her out of here.
Simon’s first day assessment: “Not very good… terrible, terrible.” He’s about right.
Jasmine Murray is first on day two, singing Fergie’s Big Girls Don’t Cry with a weird weird swelling sound underneath her voice that I don’t like at all. Simon’s assessment: “Cute, commercial, very very good singer.” She’s good looking enough, but in terms of talent it’s a stretch. Doesn’t matter, though, she fools the judges and it’s off to tinseltown for Jasmine.
George Ramirez, a physics major from Tallahassee, wanders in next, having apparently mistaken the Idol audition line for an early queue for the next Star Trek movie. Simon asks George what he wants to do in his “wildest dreams” … George’s eyes start darting around and he’s slow to answer, leading us to believe that George must have some wild dreams indeed. He sings Walking On Sunshine by Katrina and the Waves, and it’s bad. Very bad. End-of-the-season highlight clip bad. He must be doing it for a joke.
Anne Marie Boskovich is our next contestant, coming in and gushes over the honor of meeting Kara, leading Kara into a overly vocal show of false modesty that makes us all dislike her just a little bit more than we already do. Anne Marie doesn’t really sing a full song, but instead runs through a couple verses of stuff she heard Kara sing at some event in Nashville. The small sample is enough for me, I say she’s good enough. The judges, however, are underwhelmed by her stage presence… Randy says her problem is that she doesn’t see herself as a star, while Simon suggests that she “come back as a different person.” Anne Marie goes off to spruce herself up and try again in a minute.
T. K. Hash, an audition washout from last season, is back for a second try with John Lennon’s Imagine. It’s overly stylistic but competent. Paula says “you sound better this year,” while Randy agrees with me and says “it was too over the top” and they collectively decide he was inspired by David Archuleta. Um. Yay. Anyway, Simon’s a “no,” but the other three are “yes” and T. K. gets a ticket to the coast.
Michael Perelli is up next. Michael’s terrified about not being able to audition with his guitar… so rather than playing it, he props it up on against the judges table where he can see it the whole time. The scene is creepy, giving off kind of a Private-Pyle-and- Charlene vibe, for all you Full Metal Jacket fans. Michael sings Jumper by Third Eye Blind and flirts with being okay at moments, but never puts it over the top. Simon tells Michael that he’s “quite interesting, but your voice isn’t,” sending Michael into an orgy of whining. Simon tells him “you are beginning to get on my nerves” … even though Michael’s doing the same thing that works for female contestants half the time. But any sympathy we might have been able to build up for Michael is shot when his mom goes to give him a hug outside the audition room, leaving Michael to jerk away and snarl “don’t touch me.” Seems spoiled. Even Ryan tells him to knock off the attitude, and Michael is thankfully gone from our TV screens.
Anne Marie Boskovich closes the show, coming back and telling the judges that she “found a “make-up artist walking around outside.” WHAT LUCK! She performs Bubbly and does fine, but we already knew that. Randy says “I think you have a really great voice… based on the voice, yes.” What the judges were really impressed with is that she shed the jean jacket and put on some makeup, but I thought she was plenty attractive before. All’s well that ends well, though and Anne Marie gets three more yeses, and she gets through to Hollywood.
So there you have it. Jacksonville might have disappointed talent-wise, but I think we found several potential “why the hell is this person still in the show” candidates tonight… namely, Joshua, Sharon, Julissa, and Jasmine. I’d rather see pure talent, myself, but as long as they’re going to have the comic relief in the show we might as well pull for most entertaining ones we can get.
Thanks for reading. Salt Lake City is tomorrow, folks! See you then!
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