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American Idol Season 8 Auditions – Night 2, Kansas City (January 14, 2009)
By PopSavant | January 14, 2009 | 
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It’s Kansas City night tonight, David Cook’s old hometown. Maybe that should be the rule going forward… the winner’s hometown is guaranteed an audition every year. Probably never happen. Welcome to the liveblog. Away we go…
We’re immediately treated to a stereotypical Camero-looking longhaired guy screaming “OH-FREAKING-YEAH” into the camera, pretty much robbing me of every thought I’ve ever had of giving KC a visit. Oh, well. Jason Castro’s in town, too, supporting his brother’s audition. If he had said he was there for his bud, now that would have been funny.
Chelsea Marquardt, a blonde in a hideous sleeveless top is up first, telling us she’s always been scared of trying out for American Idol, and she quickly proves her fears are well-founded. Simon and Randy rightfully trash her, comparing her voice to the sound of a cat being dropped off a building; Kara and Paula say they’re being mean, but don’t address the accuracy of their statement. Chelsea, naturally, attributes her failure to song choice.
Ashley Anderson comes in next, immediately getting the lyrics of her song wrong … which is not good, since Simon wrote the song. He corrects her and she moves on, recovering from the slight against the judges well, but all in all she nothing more than a solid “meh.” All four judges give her a yes, which is just inexplicable. I smell Hollywood washout.
Casey Carlson is first up after the commercial, singing Vanessa Carleton’s A Thousand Miles. I love the song… Casey’s voice isn’t the best, but she has an extremely cute face and all in all she does decent job. Paula calls her voice “nice,” which is probably about right. Kara says she “sees a package,” and I think she’s got a point… Casey will be a good utility candidate, rather than all voice or all looks. They send her to Hollywood.
Brian Hettler, a guy with classical training and a self-described Big Ol’ Voice is up next, and says he’s “going to sing some Aretha,” and Launches into Think. Awful. He makes it worse by attempting Josh Grobin. They show him the door, accompanied by Lacrimosa from Mozart’s Requiem, which is a cute touch.
Another commercial, and we’re treated to Ryan in some kind of lumberjack shirt interviewing David Cook’s parents, telling us that David has proved he’s a “force in the music industry” … um. Okay. I love me some DC, but so far I don’t think he’s living up to the promise.
Von Smith is up after a stock reject compilation clip. He tells is that he’s willing to “attempt things that most guys don’t attempt… to sing” and one of those things is apparently Somewhere Over The Rainbow, which he does in a very loud, retro, hipster style. They’re making us wait through a commercial to find out the results… I say he makes it. (Unless they toss him out to create controversy and bring him back for the wildcard? Wouldn’t put it past them.) … but it’s four yesses, and they put him through.
Kara has said “chops” about five times already this season, and I’m already sick of it.
Jason “I WAS THINKIN’ BOB MARLEY!” is next up with his little brother, Michael Castro. Michael proves that Jason may be the stable one in the family, which makes me want to slap the audition site under quarantine. Michael says he’s only been singing for 20 days, and he’s all the way up to I’m In Love With the Girl. A little too nasal for me, but passable. Simon calls it “good-ish” … goodish enough to make it, apparently, because he gets the golden ticket.
Michael Castro looks like an Andy Samberg character.
Vaughn English comes out after the commercial break doing a dance with a banana, which isn’t nearly as clever as Chris Elliott’s banana dance from the old Letterman show.
Following that idiocy, we have a serious contender, namely Matt Breitzke, who we know will do well because we get to meet his family ahead of time. Matt is working as a welder, and Simon asks him why he’s interested in being the next American Idol… Matt wisely forgoes the obvious answer, which is “because I’m working as a welder, you dumbass.” His song is a low, soulful version of Bill Withers Ain’t No Sunshine which Randy doesn’t really like, saying “you’re probably a cool bar singer.” Matt gets two yes votes from the other three, though, and he’s off to Hollywood.
Jasmine “I pretty much go by ‘Jazz’!” Joseph is up next, complete with red and blue hair divided by the part on the top of her hair, is up next, doing Somewhere Over The Rainbow… it’s hideous. Couldn’t have seen that one coming.
Jessica Furney is up next … we immediately meet her 93-year-old grandmother, pretty much announcing ahead of time that she’ll make it through. She sings Janis, and she goes through. She’s cute, too.
We’re back from commercial to the sweet stylings of Salt-n-Peppa. If only they’d have a 1980s hip-hop night, I’d be happy for a month.
Asia McClain and India Morrison come out with a Randy Jackson inspired rap, which Randy says is funny but isn’t. Asia sings and is awful… India sings and is only marginally better, but gets the golden ticket, possibly through tactic of having her sisters destroy the judges eardrums first.
Jamar Rogers is up next, singing California Dreamin’ by the Mamas and the Papas. He has no control, but there’s something he can work with there. He gets through, too.
Back from the commercial. All the establishing shots of Kansas City make the place look awful. Sorry, KC, I hear the barbeque is awesome.
Daniel Gokey, a music teacher who lost his wife, is up next with Heard It Through The Grapevine. He was good. He’ll also be overwhelmed by female fans. Look out for him in the voting.
Anoop “You can call me Anoop-Dog, Randy” Desai, a smart guy with no fashion sense at all comes out, one tiny bit of hair away from giving American Idol its first unibrow and, unbelievably, is fantastic. He goes off to Hollywood. (He reminds me of a certain Indian curator I once heard sing Birth of the Blues, but I digress.)
Andrew Lang enters, accompanied by some silly cheerleaders… if there were sandbags, it would have been a good time for the crew to cut them loose. Andrew sings My Girl by the Temptations. Paula calls him “theatrical,” which says all there is to say. He’s out. One of the pseudo-cheerleaders is under the misconception that Andrew deserved to go through because he really wanted it badly. Tears follow.
Band director Asa Barnes is next, singing The Way You Make Me Feel. Unremarkable, but okay. Seems nice. The judges send him along.
More commercials… so, Fox premiered 24 and Idol this week… anyone want to bet how the network ratings end up next week?
Michael Nicewonder, who resembles Private Pyle from Full Metal Jacket, is next up… clear trainwreck coming. Even his mother says he can’t sing, but here he is, complete with an original song featuring the lyric “but you’re going way slowly.” I think he’s serious, which is sad, but he’s not good. Simon suggests he should write Hallmark cards. Always listen to mom.
Dennis Brigham gives us With You, by Chris Brown. He can’t sing, and he’s one of those contestants that has happy feet. The judges don’t even let him to get to the chorus… yet he gets three out of four votes (all but Simon) and he goes through. He’s all personality, and he’ll be gone in the next cut.
Mia Conley… says “you were wrong and God’s going to make you pay for it,” which tells you all you need to know.
Lil Rounds offers up a little Stevie Wonder, which is inevitably either a disaster or a home run… it’s a home run for Lil. I actually don’t like it myself, but I think it was well done. She goes through, with Randy calling her a “mixture of Fantasia and Mary J. Blige.”
All right. That’s night two. So far, it’s clear that Kansas City is a more talented town than Phoenix. Making it through to Hollywood tonight:
Ashley Anderson
Casey Carlson
Von Smith
Michael Castro
Matt Breitzke
Jessica Furney
India Morrison
Jamar Rogers
Daniel Gokey
Anoop Desai
Asa Barnes
Dennis Brigham
Lil Rounds
Of that lot, my favorites were Casey, Jessica, Daniel, Anoop, and Lil (who I didn’t like but think is good.)
What do you think so far, America? Anyone blowing you away?
See you next week!
Topics: American Idol | 1 Comment »
January 15th, 2009 at 2:57 am
I don’t know why, but I loved that goofy banana guy. He just broke up the monotony. Same with Dennis Brigham.
The widower is the front-runner right now. How many marriage proposals do you think he’ll get from crazy, frustrated women all over the country? He’ll be like Tom Hanks in Sleepless in Seattle.