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American Idol Season 8 – First Show, January 13 2009
By PopSavant | January 13, 2009 | 
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Hello everybody, and welcome to another season of liveblogs of American Idol. Tonight is the season premier… by now, you’ve read about the changes. We have a new judge, Kara DioGuardi, fewer musty old music industry vets the contestants have never heard of, and – supposedly – more talent and fewer trainwreck gimmicks. It remains to be seen the impact the changes will have. However, since Idol slipped a bit in the ratings last year, kudos to FOX for trying to improve rather than just riding the show off into the sunset.
The show opens with What A Wonderful World which is a fantastic song, and a completely terrible choice to open a new season of Idol, since the tempo basically quashes any energy and anticipation we might have had going into the new season. Hopefully it’s not setting the stage for the whole season.
Ryan gives us a brief recap of the finale from last season, the two Davids… looking back, was there really even a choice? Alas, Cook got bit by the Idol’s-First-Album curse, but I still have hopes for him.
Ryan tells us that the beauty of Idol is not the destination, but the journey itself… the networks way of reminding us they’d like us to start watching now rather than waiting until the final group is chosen. Ryan does a brief bit from the edge of the Grand Canyon… insert your own joke about the vast abyss that is reality television.
Our first auditions come to us from Phoenix, Arizona, where it was a hundred degrees… just to thing to get Simon in a good mood, don’t you think? Paula reminds us Phoenix is the home of Jordin Sparks, but we’ll convince ourselves to keep watching. They introduce Kara, telling us she’s worked with Jewel (good), Pink (good), Celine (well…) and the Pussycat Dolls (check please!)
First up is an afro-wearing Tuan Nguyen, who promises to give us a little Michael Jackson, which apparently means Weak voice and tap dancing? Next. The judges vote no across the board. So much for fewer gimmicks this season, Fox led off with this? They play him off to Wham!’s Careless Whisper which is pretty amusing.
Next up is Emily Hughes, a pink-haired singer who Ryan suggests might be the next Queen of Rock (was there a former Queen of Rock? Other than Queen, of course.) She sings Heart’s Barracuda (thanks Carly) and does reasonably well. Too much vibrato, but she’s probably nervous. Simon says “you’re different. I like you.” Paula says “top five.” Kara tells her she “seems serious.” It comes out that she’s trying out behind her band’s back, which is nice of her; Simon congratulates her on shedding the trappings of friendship. She says that maybe she can do the Daughtry thing and pick the band up on the flip side… I don’t know that I’d have announced up front that I wanted to imitate someone who didn’t win, but he’s done okay for himself. She’s on to Hollywood.
A fellow named Randy follows, who tells us his singing comes from “mi corazon” and just wants someone to “tell me that I’m great.” Hopefully, he’ll be great, and we can make him happy. He does Bon Jovi’s Living on a Prayer, but Simon calls the effort “wimpy… I don’t think you’ve got star quality, and I don’t think you ever will.” He looks a bit like Weird Al’s impression of Axl Rose. Paula lectures Randy about the need for experience, and Simon sardonically says “How do you think Straight Up was written?” Oddly enough, rather than defending what’s actually a pretty good song, Paula exclaims “I didn’t write Straight Up!”
JB Ahfua is up next… I don’t like him, too breathy, but the judges pay attention, and without much ado they give him a ticket to Hollywood. Ryan does an emotional piece afterwards where JB says he’d like to win to improve things for his family. He’s on to Hollywood, but judging by the videography I’m guessing he doesn’t last there. We’ll see.
A greasy-looking Michael Gurr follows, accompanied by impending-doom drum music. He does a guttural sneery kind of thing which just sounds awful. He turns up the heat by doing one of Kara’s songs… Randy laughs, but Kara stops him: “This is my moment!” Funny. Maybe there’s hope for her. Michael goes out and gets physically ill. Whatever.
A commercial break, and we get a parade of people butchering classic tunes. Standard Idol fodder, but it’s fun. At least they worked in a little Tears for Fears, which was nice.
Next up is Aundre, who bills himself as X-Ray, who does some kind of clown act… maybe he’s one of those guys whose friends all lie to him and tell him he’s crazy and loads of fun, but he’s got to realize he’s making a fool of himself. Randy calls it “buck wild,” while Simon goes with “tiresome.”
16-year-old Ariana Afsar follows. Ryan tells us she “wants to pay it forward” … easy to roll your eyes, but then we find out she’s started an organization to build relationships between teenagers and old people. Simon says she has a good voice; Kara “liked you… you’re cute as a button.” All four vote to put her through. My opinion is that she’s not ready for AI yet, but she’s the sort that could grow as the competition progresses. Interesting.
Another commercial, and we move on to day 2 of Phoenix. Elijah Scarlett comes out and threatens to set off an earthquake with his low voice… Simon immediately says “not hopeful at this point.” It quickly becomes clear that Simon is right… Elijah has a magnificently deep voice, but it’s not a good singing voice. Simon mocks him, a bit cruelly. Paula suggests that he do voiceovers for monster movies, and off he goes.
Next up is Leah Marie, complete with a pink cowboy hat which gives the show a much-needed Ariel Moore touch, who bills herself as a cross between Hillary Duff and Madonna. She comes in with her “songwriting book,” and she’s very eager to meet Kara: “I’m your biggest fan!” … she doesn’t stop there, though, and goes for the “I’m your number one fan!” which hasn’t had a good connotation since Misery. She very bravely goes for Everytime We Touch, by Cascada… it’s rough to do a dance tune a cappella. Predictably, she doesn’t make it… her voice isn’t great, but she gets the vibe of the music and she’s got a bubbly personality, and she promises to see us next year. Take some singing lessons, and I think she’ll be on to something.
Stevie Wright takes the stage, telling us she’s named after Stevie Nicks. She sings At Last, by Etta James. She does a passable job… Kara says “there’s moments in that,” and that’s a good description. Randy says “Either you’re born with it or you ain’t” and Stevie was born with it. She’s on to Hollywood, with advice from Simon that she become more selfish. Kara says “that’s my girl, right there,” and Paula compares her to Kelly Clarkson. FWIW, she looks a bit like Fran Drescher. I give her a solid “maybe.”
The first hour is over. So far, I haven’t been blown away by any of the potential idols, Kara’s been mostly unremarkable, and they’ve kept up the silly stuff they were supposed to get rid of this year. On the other hand, the clips and music are much more well done so far… they’re even using some bumper music that was written in the AI contestant age range lifetime.
Michael Sarver is an oil rig roughneck, but would like to trade that 5th most dangerous job in the world in to be an American Idol… and who wouldn’t really. We meet his family up front, which should tell veteran Idol viewers that this guy makes it. He sings Thank You, by Boys II Men. It’s not perfect, but it’s got a lot of force behind it, and that makes it sounds better than it was. He gets four yes votes, and he’s on to Hollywood, with Simon telling him he’s got “likability.”
They follow Sarver with a bunch of people who are awful.
Next is bikini girl, aka Katrina Darrell… who immediately impresses Simon and Randy. Paula and Kara, naturally don’t like her. Kara says she doesn’t want to seem angry because Katrina is beautiful, but she doesn’t think Katrina has the chops to sing the song. (Note to Kara: you seem angry because Katrina is beautiful.) Katrina IS beautiful… from the neck down, meaning both she seems dumb as a post and she’s also kind of a butterface. Paula and Kara both think she’s terrible, and they’re wrong… she’s not a world-beater, but she’s not terrible either.Kara and Katrina get into an argument about who sings better… I’m not sure about that, but after immediately deciding that I hated Katrina’s personality, Kara immediately proves that two can play at the don’t-want-to-spend-two-seconds-with-her thing as well. Anyway, Katrina is on to Hollywood. A couple of final Katrina notes: the more-fun music continues, with Kat entering to Aqua’s Barbie Girl and exiting to Katy Perry’s I Kissed A Girl.
(FWIW, a female viewing companion opines that if Katrina gets through to the public-voting rounds, the women of America will eviscerate her. Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful!)
Another commercial, a bit about Kara’s name, and we get someone who bills themselves as Sexual Chocolate (SEXUAL CHOCOLATE!) He tells us the nickname comes from high school… I wonder if he knows it was a terrible joke-band from Coming to America. He chooses Stevie Wonder, which is never a good sign, and fails. We find out his mom will buy him a car if he fails to make it, and damnably the judges miss a golden opportunity to put him through and deny him the car. Simon. you’re slipping.
Brianna Quijada sings Let’s Hear It For The Boy, and it isn’t good – not utterly horrid, but not good - but they give her a chance to do Killing Me Softly, and it’s not good, either. She’s one of those people you just want to like, and Paula gives her what looks like a charity “yes” just to let her walk out of the room with something, but then Simon ups and gives her a yes, too, and she’s on to Hollywood. Cute girl, but… maybe a little studio magic could fix her up?
Deanna Brown tells us “this is a once in a lifetime opportunity – unless you try out every year.” She sings Dock of the Bay, and the judges greedily let it go on too long… three notes in and you know she’s money. Four quick yes votes and she’s on to Hollywood. Good move. Also, she manages to be far hotter than Katrina despite the lack of a bikini.
Cody Sheldon, a big horror film fan, ala the guys from Summer School, comes up next, with Wonderful World. Signs are that it’s going to be awful, but it’s not. He’s quirky, but there’s something there, and he gets the golden ticket. He’ll be interesting to watch. He could develop Clay-style or crack under the pressure.
Alex Wagner-Trugman is up with a knowledge of geography and a great story about closet mold. He sings Baby, Come to Me by James Ingram, which is a fantastic out-of-left-field choice, and he nails it. Randy says it “works,” but Simon disagrees. It was a weird looking performance, but give the guy credit. Kara says yes, too, and he’s out the door with a ticket. He’s quirky. I like him.
Next is a bit of fluff in the form of a much-too-long compilation clip of people singing Bon Jovi’s Wanted Dead or Alive … maybe they’re setting us up for a Bon Jovi guest mentor thing later this season? They end with a guy who looks like Tevye from Fiddler on the Roof but who doesn’t sing as well.
Scott Macintyre goes last tonight. He’s legally blind, and he looks a bit like Danny from Caddyshack. He sings And So It Goes, by Billy Joel, giving a beautiful, controlled performance. Kara goes with “it was a curageoys thing,” which comes off sounding a bit condescending, and he gets for postive votes and is on to Hollywood. He’s good looking, he can sing, he knows music… hopefully America will judge him on his talents and forget the sympathy vote. By first impressions, he’s good enough not to need it. If he gets through to the individual performance rounds and gets a chance to use his piano, he’ll be lethal.
That’s it for tonight… no real showstoppers. We got less Ryan than usual, we never got to see Michael give us the ol’ technicolor yawn, and this crowd made it on to Hollywood:
Emily Hughes
JB Ahfua
Ariana Afsar
Stevie Wright
Michael Sarver
Katrina Darrell (bikini girl)
Brianna Quijada
Deanna Brown
Cody Sheldon
Alex Wagner-Trugman
Scott Macintyre
IMHO, Emily, Deanna, Cody, Alex, and Scott were the real standouts from night one. We’ll see how they do in Hollywood.
See you tomorrow night!
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