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American Idol Season 8 First 12 – February 17, 2009
By PopSavant | February 17, 2009 | 
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Hi everybody, and welcome to the live blog first night of voting from American Idol Season 8. Away we go:
Jackie Tohn kicks off the season 8 voting rounds, with Elvis Presley’s A Little Less Conversation and some shiny black satin pants. She looks a bit like a caricature of the way you’d see a hooker dress in a 1980s rated-PG movie, and she lurches around the stage doing more shouting than singing. For his part, Randy says “way to start season 8 off… I don’t know that I was blown away by the vocals, but it was all good on the entertainment side.” Kara thinks “You can work a stage!” and Randy kicks off a much-too-long conversation between himself, Jackie, and and Kara about Jackie’s trousers. Paula didn’t “think it was a perfect performance, but perfect sometimes is boring.” Yep, we don’t want perfection on this show. Simon pretty much nailed it, though, saying “You played the clown tonight. The performance was ungainly.” Jackie defends her effort by saying “everyone here is a bangin’ singer” – explaining, perhaps, why she sounded like she was being banged throughout the performance – and she wanted to show she was more of an entertainer.
Ricky Braddy’s offering is Leon Russell’s A Song For You. The vocal is good, but the arrangement is drifty adult contemporary and won’t help Ricky out at all… especially going second, this is the sort of performance you forget. Randy, however, loved it. Kara says “You killed that… it was amazing.” She goes on to add “you have incredible gift,” which is a bit over the top seeing that its only his first real performance of the year. Not to be outdone in the crazy talk contest, Paula adds that “you deserve to go very deep in this competition.” Simon: “Very, very good… I’m not jumping out of my chair as much as you three are” but believes Ricky’s problem is that at the moment “you don’t have any star quality… you need to start believing in yourself.” So Simon’s assessment is the same as mine.
Alexis Grace, who looks a bit like a more attractive Molly Ringwald, goes next with Never Loved A Man by Aretha Franklin. If Ricky had no star quality, Alexis makes up for it, taking the stage in a tiny black lacy number that shows off her pale skin and blonde hair to maximum advantage. She can sing some blues, too, even though it’s just a bit at odds with they way she looks. Randy thinks “You done found the dirt!” while Kara says “The genie is out of the bottle” and thinks it’s been nice to see her come out of her shell. Paula babbles for a while and says nothing meaningful at all. Simon says that she’s the best contestant so far “by a mile” … and agrees with me that she’s made his star-quality point to Ricky. He also says that Alexis reminds him of Kelly Clarkson’s emergence at the same place in the competition.
Neil Patrick Harris is in the audience. We also get a peak at Alexis’ parents, which immediately brings up the adoption question. Yikes. Sometimes the leaf falls very far indeed.
Idol has a bad technical moment as they try to roll Brent Keith’s interview tape, leaving Ryan to flounder for a bit, but they finally get everything on track. The whole ordeal leads up to what Brent calls “a good rockin’ country song,” namely Hicktown, which Brent sings because he wants to show people who he really is. And as it turns out… I apparently don’t like who he really is. I’m not anti-country at all, but I hate it from the first syllable. If this was one of those chicken wire bars, people would be throwing bottles. Awful, awful, awful. Randy likes it, saying very nice things. Kara says it wasn’t “rangy enough” for her. Paula wants “America to remember your auditions” – in other words the performance sucked. Paula says “I can see you as a country artist… remember what happened Josh Gracin and Bucky Covington,” to which Simon snarkily replies “what did happen to Bucky Covington?” and properly trashes the whole experience. Brent’s wife greets him backstage, sending the FOX audio guy ripping his headphones off with her jangly bracelets. Brent is unapologetic, saying that he doesn’t think country fans will forget his performance, and that – God help us all – that this is the sort of song he wants to put out as a recording artist. The interview tells me all I need to know, Brent isn’t in this to win, he came in with the intention of grabbing enough attention to get himself on the county fair circuit and that’s it. Hopefully he’s got it now and we can go on to more interesting contestants.
Perhaps Stevie Wright will offer us a bit of a palate cleanser, although her promise of a Taylor Swift song doesn’t leave me hopeful. And Stevie promptly fails to live up to even that weakest of promises. Her vocals are shaky, anemic, off-key, and weak. It’s completely, utterly hideous. Randy says “Yo, Stevie, man, wow, wow, wow… I wasn’t feeling that, man. If I’d seen that before, I don’t know if you’d be standing there right now.” Kara says “you have an identity crisis right now” – she also a singing crisis, Kara. Paula says it “wasn’t the right song for you” and that she couldn’t hit the low ranges. Simon says the other three were being too polite and that it was “terrible…. there’s zero chance of you making it through to the next round after that.” Stevie’s mom complains that the judges said her last song made her seem too old, but they didn’t like the teeny-bopper song, which was “confusing.” As if the judges said “hey, it might be a good idea to come out and suck next week!”
The last two songs were perhaps the worst one-two punch in Idol history, and that’s saying something.
Anoop Desai is up next, and I’m predicting good things. I think he’s good… we’ll see. He sings Angel of Mine, by Monica, which is a song I’m not exactly crazy about. Maybe the mix has gotten off tonight, because Anoop’s voice sounds weak, too. His performance is… okay. He doesn’t live up to my expectations, but he doesn’t stink, either. He shows good range and control, but I sure wish he’d picked a better song. Randy thinks “Ummmmmmm… interesting song choice, I got mad love for you, but you never quite settled.” Kara’s “got to agree with Randy… I’m not sure you had the capability to nail it the way it had to be nailed, but I feel connected with you when they’re up there.” Paula says “you have that Brian McKnight feel to your voice.” Simon thinks it was “a bit too grown up… too serious” but thinks Anoop has “massive likability.”
Casey Carlson chooses Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic, by the Police. For some reason she feels the need to contort her face as if she’s channeling Gene Simmons as she does so… she also changes the lyrics from “her” to “him” which, in the age of Katy Perry, is probably unnecessary. The vocal is awful, the song drags, she breathes at the wrong moments, and she doesn’t even attempt the high notes. Randy: “Oooooo. That was not good for me. The dog was lost.” In case there’s any mistake, Kara says “Everything about that was wrong. The weird dancing, the motions… it was so wrong.” Kara also cautions Casey to not choose such iconic songs, which is a stupid thing to say, because there’s nothing wrong with doing it as long as you can freakin’ do it… you can find an example filed under Cook, David. Paula nonsensically says “guys think you’re the most exquisite, beautiful girl there is but the phrasing was wrong.” Simon sums the whole thing up: “You shouldn’t have been allowed to sing that song.”
Michael Sarver, of oil-rig fame comes up next. I’m betting he’ll do country, and I also expect it to be better than Brent’s effort… after all, it could scarcely be worst. “I don’t wnat to be anything other than who I am right now.” Brent fools me and goes with Gavin DeGraw’s I Don’t Wanna Be. The performance is adiquate, but nothing special. Randy says “I might like you better with a little soul thing.” Kara thinks “that’s wasn’t the best,” but Paula thinks it was “a real good job.” Simon “hopes America picks up the phone and gives you another shot.”
Ann Marie Boskovich tells us she works as a waitress and a demo singer… we’ll see what she can do with Natural Woman, another song I hate…. it always makes me think the performer needs to go backstage and seek out a Mach 3 razor. Ann Marie, who I liked up until now, has a stage presence something like the the ghost of Kellie Pickler but never really shows off the voice required for the song. Kara suggests another song, to which Ann Marie responds “you mean one not as good?” Funny. I like it. Put her through. But then Simon says that the performance would have been quite good “if we were searching for the best hotel singer in California.”
Stephen Fowler, of walking-off-the-stage fame, follows Ann Marie. His song is Michael Jackson’s Rock With You, which could be awesome, particularly since they give him the classic Jackson video green laser effects in the background. Unfortunately, it’s far from it, as Stephen cracks a bit in the high parts – if you’re going to do Mike, you’ve gotta have the high parts – and otherwise does a very ordinary, forgettable job. It’s only halfway decent in comparison with the REALLY terrible performances we had tonight. Randy: “I don’t know what’s going on… it wasn’t good. AHHH! I don’t like this part.” Kara pines for the day when Stephen forgot the lyrics. Paula says “its such a rare opportunity to get a second chance like you did… but singing Rock With You is like the kiss of death.” Simon says “I actually wish you had forgotten the lyrics, it was so pointless… with that arrangement, the awful keyboard, it was corny.” Simon’s right, the arrangements have sucked tonight.
Ryan tells us that Tatiana Del Toro is coming up after the break – and even he has a problem not snickering as he does so. Is there anyone who wants to see her on the show other than for the potential trainwreck value? Tatiana tells us she’s “not going to let anyone get in the way of her dreams” and her weapon tonight will be Whitney Houston’s Saving All My Love For You, as well as a hideous pink and orange sundress. She’s okay – barely – in the high parts, but her lows sound like the homely chick from A League of Their Own. Nothing special here, but she has the good fortune to be singing on perhaps the worst Idol night ever. Randy was afraid she was “going to rough this thing up,” but “there were moments.” Kara says “it’s like a roller coaster ride with you,” much like Tatiana’s emotional stability. Paula thinks “you’re probably the most talked about contestant on the show so far” and talks out of her head for a few more seconds. Simon says “you are a complete and utter drama queen” which Tatiana takes offense at despite the obvious truth of the statement. Simon thinks she’s desperate to be famous (and he’s right) but that the whole thing was surprisingly not bad. The performance closes with all of the judges mocking Tatiana’s now-famous nasal laugh, which is a fun touch.
Simon suggests that Tatiana be less demure in the future. Women of America, take note… that’s good advice.
Danny Gokey closes a dreadful two hours. He’s somone else I like… please Danny, redeem this evening for us all! He’ll try to do so by singing Mariah Carey’s Hero… okay, an instant strike one, but lets see what he can do with it. It’s a fairly boring, but otherwise competent performance. Not redemptive, but decent enough to carry the night for the guys, especially since he’s going in the always-memorable last slot. The room explodes into applause… that’s what water will do to a crowd after they’ve been through a desert. Randy must be reading the blog because he throws out my word, saying of Danny: “He’s the redeemer!” Paula suggests that sold-out arenas are in his future… insert your own Idol sell-out joke here. Simon “thought it was good… not fantastic, good.” The others accuse Simon of being heartless, but he’s right again. On any average night, this would have been just another performance.
So, there you have it. My thoughts:
Very Good:
Alexis Grace
Decent Enough:
Danny Gokey
Ricky Braddy
Tatiana Del Toro
Meh:
Anoop Desai
Michael Sarver
Stephen Fowler
Merely Bad:
Jackie Tohn
Ann Marie Boskovich
Icepick-to-the-eardrums-awful:
Brent Keith
Stevie Wright
Casey Carlson
Best of the night: Alexis Grace, by a large, large, margin.
Worst of the night: Stevie Wright. Casey Carlson came close.
There you have it. Let’s see how the voting plays out. See you tomorrow! In the mean time, feel free to enter your own comments below.
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